doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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