if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
do nipples grow back?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
