I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize