It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
