Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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