i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
