I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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