woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize
