I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize