if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
