Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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