what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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