College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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