Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
