moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
