There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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