I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Randomize
