I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
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Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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