Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize