I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
