Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
