do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
