I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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