JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
