I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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