We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
