do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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