Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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