ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
