So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
