I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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