Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize