I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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