Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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