By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
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