Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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