Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
