You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
