It's like God shit irony all over that family
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
is wine microwaveable?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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