Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
