addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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