How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
