I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It's just like the Real World with babies
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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