I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
