i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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