there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
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