I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
