After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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