Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
