Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
