Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
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