Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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