Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
