It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
