Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
