This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
