my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
