Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
