I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
