Do you still have your period?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
