and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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