I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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