Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
