We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
