There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
