When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
